If I went up to your dad and planted a kiss smack on his mouth, would you be cool with it? How come our parents can all give each other a big fat smooch on the mouth and it isn’t cheating? Is there some unwritten rule I don’t know about?! What’s the deal with grown up kisses?
The other night I was with a bunch of friends/acquaintances who probably left wondering what kind of pervert I am. We were all saying our good-byes and I wondered after a beer or two (or more), if I should go in for a hug, handshake, peck on the cheek, or dare I go ever so bold and plant a mouth kiss on this guy going in for a quick friendly hug? I wondered how old you have to be? How good of friends you have to be? Or is it because our parents were all hippy swingers and free love carried over to our generation awkwardly? I am not saying that I think everyone should go giving each other the tongue when they see each other, but I am just curious how this became so culturally acceptable for them, yet it would probably make me look like a crazy slut. Can we please set some ground rules for this?
When I clumsily opened my mouth to posed the question of when it’s okay to do a grown up kiss, it was on for discussion. There have to be guidelines our elders follow to make this an open greeting in front of spouses. Rule number one should probably be that there is no tongue involved, “friends don’t french friends (unless you are blacked out).” The second guideline should be an age limit; you must be 30 years old to go in for mouth kisses. But, there are some parts of this rule that could be a grey area. Like, what if you hang out with people who are older than you? Are you the exception? Do married couples our age get to kiss married couples? And what about if you have a friend who kinda’ grosses you out? I’m not going in for a smooch with the cold sore kid, or the girl that never remembers the guy’s name she wakes up next to? Or the person with bad breath or bad eating habits. Is it okay to take those into consideration?
At least there is one rule that I am almost positive should exist. To eliminate intimacy your eyes must be open during a brief adult kiss. Don’t stare the person in the eyes though, I have a feeling that could be creepy.
So in all, as you ponder the action of kissing your friends as a greeting, try and keep it in your pants dude.
